And there was this one moment – or maybe it’s easy to say this in hindsight, or maybe it’s obvious to think it now – but there was this one moment when you were talking and the lilac sun was glowing and your words were just flowing, one after the other, and everything suddenly clicked into place, like: Oh, it’s you.
At twenty-four, Carmen leads a seemingly lively, if sometimes chaotic, routine, juggling her job at an online magazine, chasing the thrills of festivals and fleeting nights out, and constantly reshaping herself to suit the people around her. It’s a strategy that keeps her buoyant, even happy – but she’s slowly been losing sight of the real Carmen, her identity always defined in relation to others.
When a chance Tuesday date introduces her to a woman whose quiet confidence and magnetic charm feels unshakable, Carmen is instantly captivated, feeling something internal awaken within her.
But as this affair grows into a deeply emotional and physical connection, the unspoken words and ambiguity of the relationship begin to cut deep and Carmen finds herself slowly plummeting into an unrelenting spiral of self-sabotage.
Daisy Jones is a writer and features editor at British Vogue. Her first book, All The Things She Said, came out in 2021 and was shortlisted for the Polari First Book prize. As well as being on staff at VICE, British GQ and Dazed, her work has also appeared in The Guardian and The New York Times among others. She currently lives in South East London with her wife and pet tree frog, Percy. .
